How Couples Can Improve Their Money Troubled Relationship : The Saturday Weekend Review #300

April 04, 2020

Arguing Over Money Will Kill A Relationship During Tough Times

A troubled relationship can fall under an umbrella of situations but one that is consistent is arguing over money.

Although not everyone is staying home under lockdown to try and flatten the curve of this virus many couples are 24/7.

This everyday closeness is out of the ordinary and paired with financial worry due to a COVID-19 layoff or job loss things can get strange.

If you’ve put off saving money for emergencies or didn’t think you needed to worry about it I’m betting your singing a different tune today.

Imagine not having any emergency savings and skewered information as to when money will be deposited into your bank account.

Perhaps you don’t have to visualize this because you are living this current financial situation.

Your days are consumed with watching breaking news stories from Prime Minister Trudeau and Premier Doug Ford wondering what will become of your income.

No matter what financial stability the Canadian government puts in place nothing takes away the anxiety of Canadians and future job security uncertainty.

This, right now is what many Canadians are facing and it’s not a position I ever wish on anyone.

Bloomberg is reporting that cities in China such as Xi’an and Dazhou recorded record-high numbers of divorce filings at the beginning of March, creating backlogs in government offices.

Domestic Violence On The Rise- Financially Fuelled?

While listening to the latest news on the virus I heard that domestic violence is up drastically around the world.

A large reason for this is that where victims previously found space to breathe, whether at work or for social reasons, they are now spending all their time at home with their abusers. Likewise, children are not able to attend school, which many parents consider a safety net.

Again, the reasoning behind this is beyond the scope of what I could possibly talk about.

The situation had me thinking about a money troubled relationship that couples may face while staying home during this pandemic.

Are couples going to fight about money?
How will couples handle their money situation is they are struggling?
Will we see a rise in divorce or break-ups over troubled finances?
How can we improve the way we communicate about finance?

No Money No Relationship

A relationship with money can fail and a relationship without money can fail as well.

Money is a big part of relationship goals for people but it doesn’t necessarily mean people won’t fall in love or out of love.

During tough times especially what Canadians are going through right now it’s when we realize what we do and don’t have.

We also understand more about the way we spend money and our savings patterns if any at all.

There’s bound to be couples who are struggling to pay the bills which can strain the money troubled relationship.

When this happens blame-shifting may occur or if it is a positive communication problem-solving works in their favour.

Troubled Money Relationship Quiz

Answer Yes or No to any of the following questions to find out if your relationship could be facing financial turmoil.

My Spouse/Partner spends too much money. Yes or No
Our Emergency Savings Account is empty Yes or No
Paying all of our bills in full is a struggle Yes or No
We have a spending plan Yes or No
Arguing about money happens daily Yes or No
I’m honest with my Spouse/Partner about how much money I spend Yes or No
Talking About Finance with my Spouse/Partner includes our future retirement Yes or No
We struggle to say NO when it comes to spending money Yes or No
Understanding Finance is not something we are both good at Yes or No
I’m afraid to talk to my Spouse/ Partner about money Yes or No

If you answered YES to most or all of these quiz questions you may well be on your way to a troubled money relationship.

There is nothing positive about the 10 quiz questions above which leads me to wonder why there is such a barrier in relationships?

Being scared to talk about money is a fireball situation and one that can turn sour very fast especially if you’re deep in debt.

8 Tips For Overcoming A Troubled Money Relationship

Don’t let money or lack of money become the reason you split up your family or walk away from a relationship.

Use this time while you are in isolation to improve your financial intimacy together without arguing.

I hope I’m wrong and that couples will take a motivational way and take a hard look at their financial health.

In no particular order:

Consider a side-business such as working from home to earn extra money
Start a Budget
Revamp Your Budget and Savings Plan
Talk About Spending Too Much Money and implement an adult allowance
Go for walks or exercise alone if you feel anxiety about money
Upgrade your skills with online courses while waiting to go back to work or you’re on employment insurance
Be honest with each other about money so you can tackle it together
Get a professional WILL drawn up by a lawyer

Discussion:

Since being home during isolation with your spouse or partner has the conversation about saving money come up?

Have you worked on a new plan for helping you pay off debt and budget?

Leave me your comments and questions below.

Mr.CBB

Blog Posts You May Have Missed

Below is a recap of the blog posts I’ve published over the past two weeks so you can catch up on your reading.

If you haven’t already subscribed to the blog make sure to add your email to my list so you get my weekly blog posts and access to my Free Budget Resources Library.

You’ll get all of my Budget Binder Printables and Monthly Budget For Free.

Plus, now I also release a bi-weekly newsletter that comes straight to your email only for subscribers.

In my newsletter, you’ll find exclusive updates about the blog and my home life including photos and contests.

Seasonal Frugal Recipe

You’ll find a recipe that is budget-friendly and in-season which is perfect for grocery budgets and meal plans.

If you had a peek at our grocery list for the week you’d notice that we bought lots of asparagus.

Asparagus is generally found in Ontario from May to July and you can even forage for it in certain rural areas.

I’ve done that a few times and absolutely love foraging especially for organic vegetables such as asparagus.

To properly prepare and cook asparagus is important because the last thing you want is a mushy texture.

Ellen from Confessions Of An Overworked Mom (Love your blog name) has this simple recipe for roasting asparagus.

What I love about her recipe is that she adds a bit of sweetness to the ingredients.

I’m going to make this but with sugar-free syrup and I’ll grill the packet on our Kamodo charcoal BBQ.

Roasted Asparagus ingredients

One bunch of asparagus
2 tbsp white wine vinegar
1 lemon (1 tbsp juice)
1 tbsp of mustard
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tbsp real maple syrup
salt and pepper to taste

If you try her recipe, let me know what you think about it in the comments below.

CBB Best Read

Most of my reads this week have been about the virus which can be overwhelming but important.

Reading the Globe and Mail online this post about a Couple’s plan to quit work at age 60 has hit turbulence due to the current market was especially important.

What this made me realize is that just because you have a nice retirement set-up anything could happen even just before you retire.

They had hoped to quit working at age 60, but – like so many Canadians – their early-retirement dreams are fading. Planning has become difficult, if not impossible, because of turbulence in financial markets.

I also learned that it’s important to update your retirement plan before you decide to quit your job early.

You may find that staying on a bit longer will yield a higher retirement income or perhaps it’s a must as you’ll run out of money early.

Mr. CBB’s Motivational Corner

I’ve been reading quite a few threads on Facebook from different communities across Canada lately.

As we all know being confined to our home during this pandemic may be tough and cause lots of emotions to come out.

Treating people with kindness online is just as important as doing it face to face.

When this is all over with you’ll appreciate the empathy and how human interaction is the most powerful touch.

Be Kind, Stay Home and Look After One Another.

We can do this.

Gardening Season 2020

We are a huge fan of tomatoes and green peppers in the CBB house and plant them every gardening season.

Since we don’t have a large back garden we began growing our peppers in containers at the front of our house.

Container gardening is a huge part of how we grow vegetables and herbs at our house each season.

I find it easy to grow green peppers in containers but there’s the art of taking care of your green peppers so they continue to produce.

You’ll find some great tips for growing bell peppers in containers as well as how to care and harvest them.

Growing Green Peppers Tips

When planting the seed, Bell Pepper it 8 days to germinate.
Prepare the soil plenty of Organic compost.
If more amount of nitrogen is in the plant is healthy and bushy green.

Home and Blog Update

Here we are 2020 and a new year of our exclusive blog and home updates.

Subscribe and get exclusive behind the scene newsletter emails from me featuring photos, contests, and updates not posted on the blog.

Home Update

Just when I thought I could tackle some of the unfinished projects on my home renovations list something comes up.

Last week the furnace decided that it had enough time heating this house and switched to damaged mode.

I found the furnace with a small leak of water that began to increase day by day.

Once I had inspected the unit I found it that it needed to be replaced which only cost me $1400.

I went through a friend who gets a discount at a local retailer and found the unit I needed.

It did take a few days to order the part in which meant we bundled up indoors for days as it did get chilly.

Instead of hiring someone to do the install, I did it myself which likely saved us another $1400.

So, that’s another job done and now I’m off to finish the master bathroom and a new deck.

I’ve also got to finish planting our garden seeds this weekend especially the tomatoes which we love.

I’ll be posting our veggie and herb garden photos all summer so be sure to watch out for those.

If you haven’t subscribed to the blog, please do as you’ll see even more behind the scenes photos in my bi-weekly newsletter.

Other than that we’ve been spending more quality time as a family making up fun adventures and games.

I hope you are all keeping well.

Lots of love,

CBB

Blog Update

When I started writing this blog post today I realized it was number 300 for The Saturday Weekend Review.

That means I’ve written 300 of these weekend posts since 2012 and I wanted to do something special.

I don’t often hold contests on the blog and I thought I’d start this Saturday off with something special for my readers.

If you’ve made it this far down the post, you’re amazing.

It’s because of my readers that I keep working so hard on this blog so it evolves year after year.

For every person that leaves me a comment below telling me what they love the most about CBB, they will be entered to win a $10 PC Financial Gift Card.

Share this post on your Facebook page and tag Canadian Budget Binder and you’ll get 5 extra entries.

Let me know in your comment if you plan to share it on Facebook and tag me so I can look.

I’ll draw a winner and let you know via the email you use to leave the comment on this post.

Again, thank you all for your continued support on CBB and helping me spread the word of the importance of saving money and paying off debt.

Mr.CBB

Saturday Search Term Giggles

Every week I get tens of thousands of people who visit Canadian Budget Binder because they searched online and found my blog.

Yes, I can see your search terms and sometimes they are funny, educational and worth sharing.

If you see the acronym (SIC) next to a word that means I’ve copied the text exactly as it was typed in Google and it has spelling errors.

You may also notice that the English is broken or just typed into Google with short-form or acronyms.

Canadian grocery store with the best lasagna – Honestly, it’s the best when you make it homemade however we did try the President’s choice frozen lasagna and it was pretty decent.
Garage mechanic price list – now that you may struggle to find online as every garage has different pricing
Cost for a batch of cookies in Canada – Again this will vary based on the ingredients you use.
Can you return the food open? – Most often yes as long as you have your receipt and it falls into the return timeline such as 7 days depending on the store AND that you didn’t eat almost all of it.
What if I can’t return food that is the wrong item?– Well, you’re stuck with it so why not find a use for it or give it away to someone that will use it. You could also donate it to the food bank.

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