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Why Men Should Aim to Attract Many Women, Not Just “The One”

 

An abundance mentality is championed in all aspects of self-development, except dating.

This mindset involves the belief that there are enough resources in the world for everyone. You lose your job, you’ll get a new one. You lose some money, there’s plenty more to be made. This positive attitude can get you a long way!

Yet, mainstream dating advice feeds us the opposite message. Magazine articles focus on finding “The One”. Movie characters are determined to impress their crush, and no-one else. When it looks like it’s not going to work out, it’s framed as the end of this character’s world.

This fairytale narrative about finding your ‘one true love’ is cute, but can be harmful too. For those who don’t know any better, it can create a scarcity mindset that ruins their chances of attracting anyone.

How The ‘Disney Mentality’ Hurts You

The importance of an abundance mentality in dating becomes clear when you consider the alternative. We’ll call it the Disney mentality; the idea that there’s one person who’s your happily ever after. This mentality makes people way too excited when they meet someone who likes them. There’s only one soulmate out there for everyone, right? So this person must be it!

Even if that was true, your over-enthusiasm would probably put them off. Either that or you’d scare them away with desperate behavior at the first sign of things going wrong. Then, there’s every chance you’d be heartbroken for years after losing the ‘love of your life’.

When someone is too excited or desperate, it’s a clear sign they think they’re getting the better end of the bargain. This makes the other person reconsider the deal. It’s as true in dating as in any type of business.

Desperation is arguably the least attractive personality trait for this reason. This is especially true for straight men, as women’s hypergamy won’t let them date down in any circumstances.

The problem is: the Disney mentality naturally creates desperation. Of course you’re going to be desperate when you think it’s your only shot at true love.

Why An Abundance Mentality Is So Attractive

With an abundance mentality, you have no reason to be nervous around a love interest. If it doesn’t work out with this one, there’s plenty more fish in the sea, right?

So, you can relax and have fun around them instead of being scared to say the wrong thing. You can ask questions to see if they’re the right fit for you, rather than lapping up everything they say. This is a more attractive way to approach dating and will usually inspire the other person to chase your approval. Once again, this is as true in romance as it is in business.

In my role as a dating coach, men often ask me how to get their ex back or how to impress one specific woman. The answer is: become attractive to women in general. This will help you build an abundance of romantic options. If your special crush is one of them, great! She’ll be more likely to stick around now. If she’s not, there’s every chance you’ll find someone better anyway.

How To Develop An Abundance Mentality When You’re Not Dating Anyone

You might find it more difficult to build an abundance mentality when you’re completely dateless. Perhaps you think you’re too poor, out of shape or ugly to date an abundance of women. This is what I’d recommend in that case;

  • Work on yourself. My guide on becoming a powerful, attractive, charismatic modern man will explain the best aspects of your life to level up.
  • Build your self-esteem. Here are 10 tried-and-tested ideas for building your self-esteem. On top of these, make sure to notice and celebrate the improvements you’re making in life. It’s important to realize how valuable you’re becoming.
  • Borrow some abundance from your future. If you don’t feel like a man who deserves an abundant dating life yet, get excited about your future abundance instead. If you keep going on the same path, there’s no way you can fail. Biologically, you’re just as valuable to women as a future stud.
  • Start meeting a lot of romantic prospects. I’d recommend learning how to smoothly cold-approach people and start flirtatious conversations. Nowadays, this is a rare skill that will separate you from the masses. Once you get good at this, you’ll realize just how many opportunities there are to land new dates. Dating apps can also be a great tool to develop an abundance mentality, provided you have GREAT photos.
  • Focus on your WINS. If a woman stops to talk to you, that’s a WIN. A pleasant conversation is a WIN. Swapping contact details is a WIN. And if one woman is willing to do it, plenty more will feel the same.
  • Do the math. There are more than 3.5 BILLION women on this planet. Even if you only find 1% attractive, that’s still 35 million women to meet. Provided you become that attractive guy, there is ZERO chance of you not having amazing women in your life. The numbers are too much in your favor.

 

When you behave abundantly around women, this can be enough to win their interest on its own. It’s an honest signal that you’re a high-value man, especially in an era where most men are desperate and lonely.

With an abundance mentality, you’ll be able to choose the best girlfriend from a pool of options, rather than settling for the first one who’ll accept you.

This is why my articles teach men how to attract lots of women, rather than how to find their true love. The former leads to the latter.

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If you struggle to catch or keep the attention of beautiful women, you’ll appreciate my book Big Dick Energy. This book features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your masculine energy and effortlessly attract amazing feminine women. You can learn more about this book by clicking here or watching the video below.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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The post Why Men Should Aim to Attract Many Women, Not Just “The One” appeared first on The Good Men Project.

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